Happy Birthday, Matthew

Happy birthday,

Matthew David

November 6, 2008

I love you!

I still remember the miracle of you - the sound of your heartbeat, your gentle kicks, the ultrasound pictures as you continued to grow. The day you were born - the feel of your soft skin, the detail of your perfect little lips, your dark hair, cute nose, and tiny precious fingers around mine . . . the incredible joy and peace showered on us that beautiful day by our loving heavenly Father who understood more than anyone else how much we loved you. I loved you long before you were born, the love magnified as a held you in my arms, and continues on until I see you again.

Your life changed mine.

I will carry you . . . all my life.

You are, and will forever be, our Matthew David, beloved gift from God.

Sleep well.

Love,

Mom

Missing Matthew

Matthew, I miss you so much. I am thankful to know you are resting in the arms of Jesus, but oh how I wish you were in my arms. You were and always will be our beloved gift from God. I long for the day I will see your sweet face again and hold you close . . . in God's time. ~Loving you, Mom.

Thank you

Thanks for the prayers. It was a good day.

Back to School

If there is anyone still out there, please pray for me tomorrow as I go back to school. It know it will be bittersweet. I also know that the same God who has been carrying me all along will be very present with me tomorrow too.

God is good.

Video Tribute to Matthew

(be sure to stop the music player at the bottom of the page prior to viewing)

So Beautiful

I realized today that one reason this is so hard is that, like any mother of a newborn baby, I long to show everyone my son. When he was born I was simply in awe of how beautiful he was. I want to dress him in cute little outfits, wrap him in his soft baby blue blanket, and take him everywhere. I want to show off his perfect little fingers and toes, his tiny red lips , and his cute little button nose. I want you to feel his soft skin and be amazed at his head full of dark hair and perfectly formed ears. I keep looking at his pictures over and over again.

As you look at the pictures of our family, I hope you can see the joy we felt as we held him and stared at him, taking in every detail. You might think it would have been a time of great mourning and weeping, but instead my first thought was . . . "He is so beautiful!" Just like any mother, my love for him was extremely intense. I was so proud of him. I could hardly wait for his brothers, sister, and grandparents to meet him. And now, I wish all of you could have met him too. The fact that you can’t makes me sad.

On second thought, maybe I can have a baby shower in heaven where you can meet him . . . you are all invited. I hope to see you there!

Sleep Well, Sweet Son, We Love You. . .

Our son is now safe, perfect, happy, and at peace in the arms of Jesus.

Please know that we cherish every moment we had with Matthew. As difficult as this road has been - in spite of the fact that we miss him more intensely than we could possibly put into words, the fact that our arms ache to hold him, and that our hearts are breaking; we will be eternally grateful that God chose us to be Matthew’s family. That he choose me to carry him. Every single heartbeat was a precious gift from God. Every movement I felt was a gracious reminder of the fact that he was here, that his life mattered. He had meaning and purpose. He was not a mistake. He was carefully formed and knit together by a sovereign and loving God. He lived exactly as long as God planned for him to live.

The moments after his birth were filled with a joy that could only have come from God. We were so happy to meet him, hold him, and love him. We take great comfort in knowing that we will see him again some day. Our precious son, Matthew David – “Beloved Gift from God” will be eternally loved and never forgotten. Because of his life, our family will be forever changed.

Thank you for walking this road with us. Your kind words and many prayers helped sustain us.

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
Job 1:21






Blessed Be Your Name
by Matt Redman
- - -
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name