I guess it’s at times like this when the words of a Bible verse or a familiar song you've heard countless times start to take on a whole new meaning. Well, not actually new meaning, but a much deeper meaning. It’s at times like this that you don't just hear the words and simply agree, you feel them deep down in your soul.
For some reason the words to an old hymn came to mind today. I couldn't remember most of it, but I kept thinking about the phrase, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus." It brought me great comfort. I will admit that another feeling kept trying to creep in as well, a feeling of fear. The fear that feels like "white water pounding on the soul . . . ", but every time it did I could grasp hold of that trust in Jesus to keep me from succumbing to the waves.
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, “Thus says the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!My heart breaks for those who can't sing this song because they don't understand the trust they could have in Jesus. I pray that somehow those of us who do know can effectively communicate who God is to them and how they too could have a relationship with the One who loves them so intensely.
At my appointment last week, the doctor talked about the fact that Matthew has made it much farther than expected. After our ultrasound at 16 weeks we knew he had only a very slight chance of making it to 20 weeks. At the appointments following that ultrasound we talked about what we would do when his heart stopped beating. The 20 week ultrasound provided a little more hope. The doctor admitted that there was now a chance that Matthew could be born alive, but still mentioned a 1 or 2% chance of making it to 25 weeks. Now that Matthew is still alive and kicking at 26 weeks, she and the NICU doctor she talked to believe he has a good chance of making to term and being born alive.
Our next step is to have an amniocentesis and another ultrasound. After that we will talk to a NICU doctor about Matthew’s delivery. I will be asking for prayer as soon as I find out the date of these tests. As I have mentioned earlier, these appointments can produce a lot of anxiety, so I always appreciate extra prayer.
I spoke to several people today about the journey God has us on. I remember telling some of them how very thankful I am to know without a shadow of a doubt that God is who He says He is and that I can trust Him. He will not leave our side no matter what comes our way. I have a feeling these people have no idea how much their kind words and the love I saw in their eyes encouraged me. They probably didn't realize the extent to which God used them at that specific moment to show me once again that He loves me.
I know I say this so often, but I can't help but say it again. To all of you who listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit to encourage a brother or sister, please don't stop! God does use you. When you've prayed that heartfelt prayer, sent a card, brought flowers, made the phone call, asked, "How are you," placed a caring hand on a shoulder, or simply smiled that loving smile. God used you. As people have done this for me, Matthew and our family, it feels like God is reaching down from heaven to tell us that His love is real and we can continue to trust Him. That kind of trust is very sweet.
I am often so incredibly touched by the number of people who tell me they continue to lift us up in prayer. I can not adequately express how truly humbled that makes me feel. To think that God brings us to the hearts of others and they take time out of their busy lives to remember us before our Father overwhelms me. I could ask for no greater gift. Thank you.
Ps. Remember that daughter I mentioned who was about to get her driver’s license? Well today was the day. Look at how excited and thrilled she is! It’s a good thing the camera wasn’t turned on me. . . . I need to remember that trusting in Jesus applies to having a young daughter with a new driver’s license too :)
