This whole thing continues to be quite an emotional roller coaster. It was nice to see our precious baby moving around and see how he's grown. He still has many things that are right. But overall, the news today was incredibly difficult to see and hear. Matthew also has major things that are not right. The doctor gave us basically no hope of him surviving the birth process. I was starting to think we might have a few minutes, hours, maybe even days to hold him alive. Now, unless God steps in and performs a miracle, it doesn't look like we will have that. We were told that he can survive and grow inside the womb because the organs not functioning correctly don't need to be while he is inside. Once he is born, he cannot survive with the challenges he has.
Please pray that we will continue to have desperately needed comfort and strength from God while it seems like all hope is gone. We may never understand why He hasn’t healed Matthew. Why do we have to hurt so much? Even so, we will trust Him.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths." ~Proverbs 3:5-6
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.
"For {as} the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts." ~Isaiah 55:8-9
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3 comments:
Kristi,
As you know, sometimes there are times when we just don't know and we can't understand....those are the times we trust his heart. That is all he asks of us. Sometimes we don't feel triumphant or victorious ...He understands. Sometimes we feel like staying in bed and crying...He understands. Someday he will wipe away the tears from our eyes and the momentary pain of this world will be left behind in an instant. And sometimes just knowing that is enough. I'm praying that you will be comforted in knowing that God is in control...He understands....and you have a friend who cares!
Kristi, it has been so long since I have seen your beautiful family. Donna sent your blog to me, and one hour later after reading each entry and watching the Smith testimony, my eyes are puffy with remembering, with gratefulness for your support network, with joy that Mathew still lives and with praise to God for the work He is doing in your life. Your life in this blog is a testimony to a Living God who meets you daily as you walk a long, difficult road. Your eyes are wide open to see every blessing God pours out in Matthew's life. Thank you so much for sharing your sorrow (and joys)in your blog. I am praying for God's peace to guard your hearts, & to hold you together as you wait to see your little boy. I believe in miracles and I believe that God has already worked some through Matthew's life and your voice...with me!
Kristi,
I have been trying to post, but it has not worked. Hope this one gets through.
I don't know how you find these amazing songs and such amazing words to bless us with. I do not have word that will make this easier, but I do want to tell my big sister a few things.
1. God is so pleased with you and how you are living out your faith in Him.
2. He cares more than you will ever know about how this is hurting you.
3. I, and so many other people, care about you, are praying for you, and are hurting with you.
I love you,
Steve
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