. . . Other Times He Calms His Child

Brandon asked me to text him right away after the appointment and I did. His response: "Sometimes He calms the storm, other times He calms His child. . ." Thanks, Brandon. I needed that reminder.
The appointment today did not go as we had hoped and prayed. The news was bleak. Yet, his (yes, another baby boy) heart still beats away. The doctors say I will likely miscarry in the second trimester. In other words, any time now. Or, I might carry this baby much longer. The problems they found before have gotten worse. They also found a few other abnormalities. We opted not to have the amniocentesis because we decided there wasn't much point in finding out. It wouldn't really change the outcome.
Devastating news, however, we did feel God's incredible strength. We slept peacefully last night and no tears were shed until we got in the car after the appointment. I know many have been praying. Praying for healing, praying that He would calm the storm. I was praying for that. I was visualizing my loving heavenly father caressing the baby's back and tummy with His healing fingers and removing anything that wasn't "right." I begged Him to heal our baby - to calm our storm. Did He hear you? Did He hear me? Does He care? Is He really out there??? Even though this hurts so much, I know the answering is, YES! He hears, He cares, He loves. I still don't understand. I can't trace His hand. "Why, Lord? Why do we all have to go through so much pain on this earth?" His answer, "Trust me . . . . and know that I love you." Sometimes He does calm the storm, other times He calms His child. We are, after all, His children and He loves us even more than we love our own children. I can't bear to see my kids in pain. I have often thought that their pain hurts me more than it hurts them. So . . . God must feel the pain with us. He weeps for us, even though He knows He has a perfect plan. Somehow knowing He hurts with me, brings comfort.
I was always struck by the fact that when Lazarus died, even though Jesus knew he was going to raise him from the dead, he wept. Why would he weep? He knew he had it all under control. I believe he wept because he feels our pain, even more than we do.
Thank you for walking this road with us. We know there are still hard times ahead, but we feel so blessed that you have chosen to help carry us through this.

God bless you all!

All who sail the sea of faith Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can grow dark And gentle winds grow strong
Suddenly fear is like white water Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm And other times He calms His child

He has a reason for each trial That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken We cannot be pulled apart from Christ
No matter how the driving rain beats down On those who hold to faith
A heart of trust will always Be a quiet peaceful place

Sometimes He calms the storm With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm And other times He calms His child

by Scott Krippayne

Thank you

I had been doing well emotionally lately, trusting God, feeling pretty strong, but honestly yesterday was hard. I had a difficult time sleeping last night. Then, as I lay in bed, God brought to my mind all of the people He has used to encourage me. That inspired to make a "Thank you" list.

Thank you to . . .

Kent for being my rock and wanting to hear the baby's heartbeat . . . Brandon for seeking God with your whole heart and reaching out to me when He shows you how much I need you. . . Sara for telling me in the very beginning that everything was going to be okay. . . TJ for listening to me even through my tears . . . Stacy and baby Isaac, although I have never met you I read your blog every day. You have inspired me beyond words . . . Barb- first and foremost for the love and compassion I see in your eyes, for the story you told me of a father's intense love for his son, and for the message you felt God was prompting you to share with me as you carried my pain with me one weekend: "God doesn't give bad gifts." . . . Mom, for carrying this load with me every day and for "mothering" me. I will never outgrow my need for you. . . Don, Steve, Dad, and Jamie for your phone calls, text messages, and prayers . . . Lorraine for loving this baby already. . . Pastors Tim and Donna Pridegon for praying with me, you encouraged me so much. . . Mom and Marv for stopping by, hugs, and listening ears. . . Cindy for your email. . . Kirk and Angie for the wonderfully distracting day by the pool. . . Lois for the hug and a shoulder to cry on. . . Erin, Grandma P., and Grandma B. for the cards, you really touched me. . . Kathryne for always being available when I need you. . . Karen for the many therapeutic walks and talks. What would I do without you? . . . Anita for your compassion, kindness, and countless smiles, I appreciate you so much! . . . Mr. Jondle and board members for your prayers and flexibility as I face the unknown. . . . Dr. Flory for refering to my baby, not my problem, and for listening to me as if I were your only patient. . . Jonna Kay and Kristy for calling/emailing when you felt God prompt you, I needed your words of encouragement . . . DeDe for giving me medical advice, sisterly love, and prayer support . . . Sarah T. for being you! . . . To all of our family and friends who have us in your thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine going through this alone. . . THANK YOU.

Trusting His Heart

I started this blog because of the peace and comfort God has overwhelmed me with lately while reading the blogs of other families in this situation. One reason for doing this is to keep any who are interested updated on our situation and what God is teaching me through it. I also believe that, even if no one else reads it, it will be therapeutic for me to express my thoughts and feelings.

I want all of you know that although this has been an extremely difficult time, I do feel God carrying me. I know that I have so many to thank for lifting us up in prayer. It may sound strange, but in spite of the intense heartache, I have never felt more blessed than I do right now. Through this storm, I have begun to truly understand as never before how richly blessed we are. I have always loved and treasured my children, but I look and them differently now. I could never have imagined loving them more than I did before, but my love and appreciation has grown. I am in complete awe. How is it possible that God would bless us with Brandon, TJ, and Sara? Each one is such a precious and irreplaceable gift. We also have a huge loving and supportive family, friends, church, nice home, good jobs . . . Now we have another child to love.

When the pain overwhelms me, I keep coming back to what I KNOW to be true. He is sovereign, He is faithful, He loves us, and He has not forgotten us. He will carry us. My deepest desire is that He be glorified in this. As you pray for our little one to be healed, please also pray for His will and strength for us to be used by Him, however He chooses.