Brandon asked me to text him right away after the appointment and I did. His response: "Sometimes He calms the storm, other times He calms His child. . ." Thanks, Brandon. I needed that reminder.
The appointment today did not go as we had hoped and prayed. The news was bleak. Yet, his (yes, another baby boy) heart still beats away. The doctors say I will likely miscarry in the second trimester. In other words, any time now. Or, I might carry this baby much longer. The problems they found before have gotten worse. They also found a few other abnormalities. We opted not to have the amniocentesis because we decided there wasn't much point in finding out. It wouldn't really change the outcome.
Devastating news, however, we did feel God's incredible strength. We slept peacefully last night and no tears were shed until we got in the car after the appointment. I know many have been praying. Praying for healing, praying that He would calm the storm. I was praying for that. I was visualizing my loving heavenly father caressing the baby's back and tummy with His healing fingers and removing anything that wasn't "right." I begged Him to heal our baby - to calm our storm. Did He hear you? Did He hear me? Does He care? Is He really out there??? Even though this hurts so much, I know the answering is, YES! He hears, He cares, He loves. I still don't understand. I can't trace His hand. "Why, Lord? Why do we all have to go through so much pain on this earth?" His answer, "Trust me . . . . and know that I love you." Sometimes He does calm the storm, other times He calms His child. We are, after all, His children and He loves us even more than we love our own children. I can't bear to see my kids in pain. I have often thought that their pain hurts me more than it hurts them. So . . . God must feel the pain with us. He weeps for us, even though He knows He has a perfect plan. Somehow knowing He hurts with me, brings comfort.
I was always struck by the fact that when Lazarus died, even though Jesus knew he was going to raise him from the dead, he wept. Why would he weep? He knew he had it all under control. I believe he wept because he feels our pain, even more than we do.
Thank you for walking this road with us. We know there are still hard times ahead, but we feel so blessed that you have chosen to help carry us through this.
God bless you all!
All who sail the sea of faith Find out before too long
How quickly blue skies can grow dark And gentle winds grow strong
Suddenly fear is like white water Pounding on the soul
Still we sail on knowing That our Lord is in control
Sometimes He calms the storm With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm And other times He calms His child
He has a reason for each trial That we pass through in life
And though we're shaken We cannot be pulled apart from Christ
No matter how the driving rain beats down On those who hold to faith
A heart of trust will always Be a quiet peaceful place
Sometimes He calms the storm With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm And other times He calms His child
by Scott Krippayne
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4 comments:
This wonderful little boy is precious and loved. God has called us to pray for the good word that He has spoken over your baby to be that which settles itself in your heart. We love you!
Praying for you as you sail through this storm! Remember even now, God is holding your precious baby boy as He is holding all five of you! He is the same God today that a couple thousand years ago calmed the storm for His disciples with just three words, "Peace, Be Still!" Love you all!
Kristy
Few words seem appropriate right now as I'm typing through tears, but know that we love you and and pray for God's will to be done and His name to be praised.
Jamie & Brian
Kristi,
We pray for you, Kent, Brandon, TJ, Sara, and your baby boy everyday.
Please know that we love you all.
Donna
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