Sing with me . . .

I hope you can hear the song I have playing right now. I hope you can picture the scene in your mind like I can . . . .

”The splendor of a King,
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice,
All the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light,
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at his voice,
And trembles at his voice”


I can see millions of people standing in awe, adoration, and thanksgiving. Millions of people who sing because they KNOW. Through their trials and tribulations, they have “tasted and seen that the Lord is good.” They are singing because they BELIEVE . . .


”How great is our God,
sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God”

”Age to age he stands
And time is in His Hands
Beginning and the End,
Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in one
Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb,
The Lion and the Lamb”

Those of you who KNOW and BELIEVE, sing it with me now . . . .

“How great is our God,
sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God”

Today is Saturday. And today was a beautiful Saturday! A day to enjoy God’s awesome creation. A day I have come to appreciate so much more lately than I used to. A day when I don’t have to wake up to an alarm clock. A day where, though I have plenty to do, I get to decide when and how I do it. A day of much needed mental and physical relaxation.

Even though I always feel God’s presence with me and know He has never left me; and even though I really do trust His heart and know He is up to something far better than I can understand; I had been having many rough moments lately. I had gone for two weeks straight with a breakdown every morning at school before the students came. The littlest things would set me off. It was usually related to a computer problem. . . ugh!! During those times, I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be able to stop crying. This left me feeling exhausted physically and emotionally. Yet, just in time, God would pick me up and dust me off before the students arrived and I would feel peace. . . . “How great is our God. . .”

Last week was different. It was an amazing gift from a great God! I was able to make it through the entire week without one breakdown. I’m not saying the tears were never close to the surface, but I never “lost it.” For some reason (maybe extra prayers, I’m not sure), God gave me an entire week of strength. All this in spite of the fact that I am still unable to connect any new computers to our network; and in spite of the fact that a network switch gave out in the middle of a class, totally blowing my plans for the students along with the ability of everyone in the school to access the network and the Internet – Again! (No worries, we have a new switch now.) Through it all I felt peace. . . . “How great is our God. . .”

Throughout the day, I often think of our baby, Matthew. I like thinking about him, I do believe he is a gift from God. Sometimes, though, the thoughts of him make the tears start to form. This week, during those times, at just the right time, someone would give me an encouraging smile, send an email or a text message, give me a card, surprise me with flowers, hug me, or just say the perfect thing and I would feel peace. . . . “How great is our God. . .”

When I woke up this morning . . . . I thought of Matthew. As usual, I placed my hands on my expanding tummy and waited for him to kick. He did, a precious and blessed moment. I felt peace. . . “How great is our God. . .”

Then I went into the den to read my Bible and . . . I thought of Matthew. In light of the fact that he has made it farther than expected, is still moving, and has a strong heartbeat, I decided to search the Internet for those statistics again. Probably not a good idea. I was reminded that he only has a 5% chance of making it to term and surviving birth. Yet I felt peace. . . “How great is our God. . .”

My mom and I decided to enjoy the nice weather and take a little road trip. On the way to pick her up . . . . I thought of Matthew. I was thinking I had probably better update my blog and was starting to write what I might say in my head. Again, I felt peace and guess what song came to mind? . . . “How great is our God. . .”

After we drove through Anamosa we passed the cemetery. I asked if she minded if we went in to visit my grandparents’ graves and the grave of my “baby” brother Donald. He was my parents’ first child and died the day he was born in 1965. As we were brushing the dirt and grass off of his marker . . . I thought of Matthew. We continued on, reading the gravestones of all of the other babies who died much too early, many the same day they were born. We could easily sense how much these little ones were loved. Although I could feel the tears starting to well up, I felt peace. . . . “How great is our God. . .”

When we got back to Cedar Rapids . . . . I thought of Matthew. I remembered that I had wanted to go to Michael’s and buy something to make a memory of Matthew’s handprint. I walked around the store looking for the perfect memory maker. Should I simply dip his little hand in paint and make a handprint that way? How about a mold? I read the back of the package and it said that you have to hold the object in the gel still for a while until it sets. I thought of holding little Matthew’s hand in it, and set the kit back down. I’m not sure if I can do that, can I? Poor little Matthew, isn’t it kind of mean to do that? What if he is no longer breathing, if his heart has stopped, is it wrong to do that? Is it right? I don’t know . . . Later I returned to that spot and picked the kit back up. I decided I could always return it. I do want mementos of his precious life. I want to be able to share them with his grandparents and siblings. I want us always to remember that even if he goes to heaven early, he was here. His life did matter. He made a difference. I felt peace . . . “How great is our God. . .”

As I write this blog . . . I think of Matthew. I feel peace. . . . ““How great is our God. . .”